enough
by lovelyrutabagas
Summary: Save Azula; save the Avatar; save the world. Sounds easy enough, right? Zuko has no idea what he's doing. AU, time-travel, Zuko-centric
1. Chapter 1

Zuko is not enough.

His father has said it so many times, and in so many ways, that Zuko felt, deep in his bones, that he wasn't enough.

That was okay, though. He may be a disgrace but at least his sister wasn't.

His sister Azula: the perfect one; the cruel one; the royal one.

Zuko could go on and on about how much better she is at everything compared to himself, but that never ends well for him. The scar on his face is a testament to that. As well as numerous other scars and burns.

Though he is not enough himself, Zuko knows the rest of the world is.

Which is why, when his eyes open and are not met with the ceiling of his room in the Fire Nation Palace he does not panic. He pulls his legs under him and politely rests pale hands in his lap.

Zuko stares off into thick mist and listens to faint moans and screams that carry on the wind.

A man sits suddenly before him and Zuko tries very hard not to look away from the man's warm brown eyes.

They're too much like the little airbender's eyes; kind and empathetic even to the very end.

Warm brown eyes look at Zuko like he's done nothing to warrant this Hellish place. The man cracks a smile at Zuko and his face somehow loses all the bad times from before.

They stare at each other for a moment; Zuko being unsure of how to proceed and the man looking pleased at his silence.

Zuko is vividly reminded of both the little airbender and his sister and then thinks what they might have looked like if they'd been meshed together.

The man across from Zuko suddenly bursts into loud laughter.

He realizes that it isn't just this man laughing; Zuko had been talking out loud the entire time and there are other people – spirits—laughing at his thoughts.

"My name is Wan," starts the man, with a smirk thrown over his shoulder towards the direction of clear, chime-like laughter.

"Yours is Zuko, right? Fire prince and what not," here Wan gives a flippant wave with his right hand and manages to slap his own face. "So, do you know what you're doin' here, prince?"

Wan raises both brows in an attempt to look serious and the same chime-like laughter erupts from behind him.

Zuko breathes in deeply, casting his mind around for different topics other than the one Wan wanted to talk about but his mouth is moving on its own spouting out whatever half-baked idea comes out of his brain. He decides to just cut right to the chase and lets the words flow out.

They hurt; actually burned worse than anything he'd felt in his entire life. He still said them.

 _I killed the Avatar._

…

 _She could heal me…_

Zuko isn't thinking when he lets Katara gently cup his scarred face in her hands.

Zuko isn't thinking when the wall opens up and reveals his uncle and the Avatar.

He only starts to consider an alternative ( _gentle, calloused hands holding his face pulling him closer closer closer_ ) when Azula arrives and then his heart is locked down tightly in his chest. He knows what choice he'll make and he tries to ignore the feeling of the waterbender's ( _Katara Katara her name is Katara_ ) hands and instead attacks the Avatar.

Zuko stares at the boy and doesn't understand why his father is so afraid of him. The airbender is younger than Zuko; younger than Azula, and this is what scares him most of all, because his sister is the prodigy but even she had trouble with fighting adult benders.

This boy doesn't.

He is fluid in his movements, graceful and beautiful like Azula but lacking any of her viciousness. He fights off every earthbender and dodges Azula's fire with startling ease. The waterbender is rougher with her attacks but no less graceful than the others. Zuko watches her fight and has to shake himself awake when he is almost hit with the Avatar's water-whip.

There is a yearning in his chest as the trio regroup; his uncle is leaning heavily against the glowing crystals behind him; the waterbender is protecting the Avatar's prone body with every fiber of her being.

Azula shouts something at him but he can barely hear voice let alone her words above the sudden shrieking winds. The Avatar is rising up, up, up into the air, glowing bright blue and opening his arms to—

 _Dead._

The boy is burning while Zuko lowers his arm, still hot to the touch from releasing the unexpected blue fire and Azula is there by his side, a smile on her face with victory written all over it.

The waterbender and his uncle are captured and they all are to begin their journey towards the Fire Nation right this second. Zuko is still staring at the charred remains of the boy who saved him and who's only fault was that he was born to the wrong element.

When his uncle calls his name, low but strong, Zuko feels as if an invisible noose has been wrapped around his lungs and is slowly suffocating him. He meets his uncle's gaze and is ashamed to admit that the sting in his eyes is from grief and not the wind like he thought.

Uncle Iroh looks at him and there is an offer there, hidden inside his golden eyes, and Zuko does not pretend to not know what he wants.

" _Join us and we can work towards forgiveness together. Please, Zuko."_

But Zuko is weak and he turns away from the eyes of his most beloved uncle and meets his sisters. Azula glares at where the prisoners are being loaded and murmurs something to him. He thinks it's an admonishment for his tears which have not stopped since the Avatar's death ( _murder_ ); it's an attempt at comfort, an area that Azula has little to no experience in.

" _Don't worry, Zuzu; Uncle won't be executed for this… lapse in judgement. He'll go to the prison nearest to the palace and you'll be able to visit as often as you need."_

He doesn't mind the annoying nickname she uses now. Anything's better to hear than the sound of the boy screaming as he's yanked back to consciousness; his flesh crackling and sizzling as Zuko's fire destroys everything in its wake.

Everything afterward is a blur to him.

He knows they arrive at the Fire Nation a week after leaving the Earth Kingdom. He also knows that when he's pulled along by Azula into the throne room he isn't imaging the sudden increase of heat. The waterbender hisses out curses at guards who touch her with superheated armor and Zuko wakes up.

Just in time, it would seem, as while Zuko was lost in a cozy sea of numbness the Fire Lord had been speaking. Now, Azula is speaking and gesturing to those behind her but Zuko is drifting away until there is a pinch from Azula on his arm ( _nottheonehemurderedtheAvatarwith_ ) that drags him back to the unfortunate present.

" _Well?"_ Says the Fire Lord, and the flames in front of him burn brightly when Zuko does nothing more than stare at him.

Azula saves him from another scarring and he admires her spirit for speaking to her father like that.

( _Ozai is not his father has never been his father will never be his father the way Uncle Iroh was_ )

She's still talking and Zuko… is spacing out.

He doesn't realize how long they've been standing until Azula subtly pulls him to the cushions in front of them and his legs start to cramp. They're a welcome distraction to the burning arm that was used to murder a child. Compared to the rest of his body Zuko feels cold on the inside. He knows it's because he's murdered the Avatar and he's going to suffer for it.

He deserves it.

Zuko is being led out of the throne room by a servant and he is briefly confused until he catches sight of Azula standing before the waterbender.

They close the massive doors behind him but he can still hear what's happening on the other side. There is the violent crackle of lightening and Zuko begins to sprint down familiar corridors, past half-remembered rooms and startled passerby; he continues his fast pace until he reaches his old room, panting and sobbing.

The waterbender—Katara—is dead.

Zuko knows this as well as he knows that his time is running out. The tightness is there, still compressing and hurting but deserved for what he did.

Zuko approaches his bed, lies down, and waits.

…

It's the end of his story and Zuko can see that Wan is upset by it.

"That's it?"

Zuko stares blankly at Wan before nodding.

Wan looks incredulous, then furious, then… accepting?

"That settles it, then!" Wan punches his fist into his open palm, as if he just found a solution to a problem. Which he had. "You've got the opportunity of a lifetime here, Zuko; all you need to do is hear me out and then say yes."

Zuko is confused as Wan continues talking to him instead of throwing him into the thickening mist surrounding them. His confusion only grows as Wan offers him his 'opportunity of a lifetime' of _time-travel._

Because Zuko is obviously dead and the spirits around him are tormenting him for murdering an innocent, he agrees to Wan's impossible quest.

Save Azula; save the Avatar—whose name is Aang, surprisingly—; save the world.

There's a giggle of joy from behind him, and Zuko turns around sharply to meet the relieved grey eyes of the Avatar. Or rather, Aang.

His mouth remains closed but tilts into a crooked grin while his voice hits Zuko like a ton of bricks.

"Don't worry, Zuko! You'll do great," Aang sounds like his Mother used to when trying to coach him into playing with others kids. The comparison brings tears to his eyes and Aang attempts to brush them away. His hands go through Zuko's face and he shivers when he sees glimpses of past lives.

Aang pulls away completely and backs into the mist. Wan gently guides him to his feet and points him towards a section of mist that is thicker than all the rest.

The last Zuko sees of Wan is him stepping into the mist while giving a thumbs-up.

…

AN- New story idk when I'll update but I'll work on it when I'm not busy.


	2. Chapter 2

Zuko is in his bed when he wakes up.

He's struck, suddenly, by how real the spirits have made his own personal Hell. The ceiling is brown and tiled with fiery details surrounding the edges. The walls are made from shiny brown marble and when Zuko approaches them he can see his older, scarred reflection.

It makes him scream.

Zuko is screaming himself hoarse at the realization that _he actually died._ That he can remember his death; quick and painless, but startling. He remembers waking up, lying on this very bed, in another time, and seeing Ozai ( _his own fucking father_ ) standing over him. Seeing him raise his hand, fire growing in his palm, and shove it toward his chest. Zuko remembers it vividly.

And it makes him scream and sob that his own father would and could kill him without a second thought.

His screaming wakes the palace guards, but it's his Mother ( _how are you here how are you alive_ ) who rushes to him first. She gathers him into her arms and attempts to sooth him. It doesn't work.

The guards are searching the room for what made their Prince Zuko scream in heart-stopping terror when Ozai and Azula appear.

Azula is stark white but impassive while Ozai seethes silently, smoke curling from his nostrils and the area around him growing ever hotter. Their mother stands, still holding Zuko in her arms, and snaps something at her husband. Zuko doesn't hear what she says; all he can focus on is the way Azula trembles, how her face is still as her lower lip quivers slightly.

He sees Azula: a small, frightened child being ignored by both parents and guards while her older brother gets all the attention. He sees the way she steels herself, pastes a sneer on her face and huffs arrogantly. She's closing herself off and Zuko won't let her do this anymore.

Pulling himself out of Mother's arms Zuko stumbles over to the door where Azula has planted herself and throws his arms around her. She tenses up and hisses out a threat most likely and they both hear the noise in his room cease.

Zuko is hugging his sister as protectively as he can; he wants her to feel how much he loves her and wants her to be safe. A moment passes before her arms wrap awkwardly around his waist. He hasn't stopped crying and Mother is there trying to _take Azula away_ and he won't let it happen.

Azula is saying something, her voice squeaking and light and panicked. Their Mother is also speaking but so is Ozai and his voice is what quiets them all.

Zuko stops crying and he can feel Azula breathe out a sigh of relief. Mother tugs again and Zuko lets go of his sister reluctantly. Azula is bright for her age, so much potential bundled up inside an itty-bitty being, and her eyes reflect this brightness that Zuko lacks. His eyes are dull; he knows. Ever since his banishment, they'd lost their luster only brightening whenever he had heard news of the Avatar and his friends.

Azula is still so young and innocent. Her eyes won't dull like his own if Zuko has any say in it.

She looks up at him from inside their mother's arms and blinks amber-colored eyes at him.

And they burn as if a fire's been lit within them.

"Father! Mother! Look at Zuzu's face!" Azula is beside herself with worry and fear but Ozai and their Mother only stare at her. She points this time, hoping to direct their attention towards it.

"It's right here; look at it! It's huge, how could you miss it?" She's close to tears now and Zuko is right beside her, rubbing her back consolingly. It had been difficult for him, too, back when he first acquired his scar. Now he feels nothing about it.

"Azula," Mother starts, and her voice is just a bit harder than he remembers. "There's nothing on his face, sweetie." Mother smiles at them and he sees her suspicion at her children so close to each other.

"What could have possibly occurred that would have made you distract the palace guards?"Ozai practically snarls his question and Zuko dreads looking at this man. But he has to.

"A nightmare." He answers truthfully. It was. His old life was a nightmare in every sense of the word and he's glad for this moment with family even if it's incomplete and Ozai is poisoning it.

The man sucks in a sharp breath and whatever he's about to snap out is interrupted by a servant informing them all of General Iroh and his son's return.

All sound is blocked out as Zuko dares to hope ( _maybe this isn't Hell_ ), to imagine that Uncle Iroh is here and Lu Ten is alive and well and he feels the prick of tears in his eyes but Azula is staring at him, with eyes like the sun, so he pushes his tears back and leans into his sister instead. Mother is pulling him to his feet and Azula is tucked into his arms and he wonders, somewhat belatedly, how old he is.

There's a four-year difference between them and Zuko thinks that Azula is around three or four years old which puts him at around eight years old. Which would make Lu Ten seventeen. Almost a decade between them and yet Zuko loved those two more than anyone else. Not anymore, though.

Azula is so much more important than Lu Ten and Mother but she and Uncle Iroh are tied. Zuko loves Azula more than ever before; here, he hasn't murdered anyone; here, he hasn't disgraced himself; here, Mother is beside him and Azula is heavy in his arms but so, so real. And sane.

Ozai is the only downside. But Zuko can ignore him.

...

Uncle Iroh is younger than when Zuko last saw him.

Happier, too. Grief and defeat have yet to bear down on him like the weight of the world and Zuko can't stop himself from throwing himself—with Azula in his arms—at his uncle for a hug.

Azula snarks out, "Be careful, stupid!" and Zuko ignores her for a moment so he can focus on Uncle Iroh and how _welcome and open_ he is.

Lu Ten is here, too and Zuko disentangles his self from Uncle's embrace, leaving Azula behind, and winds his spindly arms tight around his older cousin.

"Easy there, Zuko; I'm not leaving until next week." Lu Ten grins as he speaks and Zuko is not ashamed to admit that he's tearing up ( _you were always a crybaby Zuzu_ ).

He swallows past the lump in his throat and whispers, "I missed you."

...

Zuko's tone is heavy with regret and sadness and Lu Ten is already concerned, crouching down and ruffling his hair slightly. When Zuko doesn't respond to his cousin's teasing of his hair, with threats or even a furious blush, Lu Ten looks to his father and aunt but neither are paying the pair any attention. Still concerned for Zuko, but also curious about what could be holding their attention with Zuko breaking down behind them, he stands and then grins.

In his father's arms a pouting Azula holds onto a knife that was meant to be for Zuko while Aunt Ursa holds out the doll that had been Azula's gift. Lu Ten laughs loudly and Zuko is startled out of his strange mood.

Or so Lu Ten thinks because then Zuko goes up to his mother and takes the doll from her and hugs it to his chest.

Lu Ten isn't the only one confused by this new turn of events because his father is quick to pluck the knife from Azula's grabby hands and offer it to him.

"Prince Zuko, that doll is for Princess Azula," he holds the knife carefully out to Lu Ten, who shakes his head while smirking. His father is unimpressed and sighs playfully to Azula before handing the intricate blade back. "The knife and doll were both made in the Earth Kingdom, by the best they had to offer."

Here, Azula frowns at her older brother, who cradles the doll gently in his arms and stares at it. There's something about the look on his face…

Whatever it is, Lu Ten can see that Azula doesn't like it. At all.

She squirms in his father's hold and he releases her after a particularly vicious jab at his stomach. Azula scampers— _(since when does Azula do anything like that?)_ —over to Zuko's side and shoves the doll to the ground.

"Azula!" Aunt Ursa is appalled and begins to lecture her daughter. "Why would you do that to your brother? I thought you two were getting along better—"

"We are, Mother."

Zuko cuts in, his voice high and soothing. Everyone looks at him. He colors slightly and puts his arm around Azula's shoulder before continuing.

"Azula and I are going to be better. We won't fight as often or disrupt the palace guards with our squabbles," Zuko meets Aunt Ursa's eyes and then his father's. There's a promise in them that Lu Ten doesn't understand. What happened to his baby cousins to make them so… different?

...

They talk well into the night.

Uncle Iroh regales his audience with tales of glory and conquest that leave Zuko's stomach in knots. He doesn't remember his uncle being so proud of invading the Earth Kingdom. Certainly not of attempting to breach its walls.

Lu Ten chortles at something Uncle Iroh said and Zuko tries not to stare at the youthful, breathing form of his cousin. He remembers when they brought back his remains from the frontlines; Uncle Iroh held the small box in his hands and refused to part with it. There had been tears and suffering from Zuko and his mother and Uncle Iroh, but Azula and Ozai had been overjoyed at the sight. Azula because of Ozai and Ozai because he hated his brother.

Zuko can't stop thinking of his other life. He's supposed to be happy now; he has a chance to make things right! He can feel himself slipping into the dark; a cold, empty place that held him during his exile and comforted him during his search for the Avatar. Now it sinks into his chest, making it hard to breathe.

His throat constricts and he starts wheezing. Air, he needs air! Hands are on his back, hot and pressing into the tense muscles and he struggles in their hold. They're too hot, too hard, _they're hurting me, Mother, please stop it!_

There's a child's chanting voice, terrified and on the verge of breaking, in his ears and Zuko has a moment where he's confused by it; startled and vaguely upset that a child is crying near him. Then he realizes it's himself crying and chanting:

" _Please, don't, don't, it hurts, please, I'm sorry, please, stop it!"_

"Zuzu!"

His eyes snap open. Azula and Lu Ten are next to him on the floor and Mother is holding his hand in her lap but Uncle Iroh is up moving, putting out fires Zuko hadn't noticed upon waking.

"What happened?" Zuko asks. His body is burning up and he can feel the pull of the fires around him; he did that.

Mother speaks for the others. "You were having trouble breathing, Zuko, and when Lu Ten tried to help you started fire bending. Azula helped keep them down but there were too many. What's going on, sweetheart? First your nightmare, now this?"

Mother isn't accusing him of anything and yet he feels guilt well up inside him. "I'm sorry, Mother."

Shame and guilt whirl inside him; Zuko remembers them well, and practically throws himself into their embrace.

Mother looks on, expectant. Azula sits properly beside her, a sneer carving her face into a mockery of another, older Azula. The comparison shakes him and Zuko tries to think of something, anything to say.

Instead, unbidden, the waterbender surfaces in his mind. And Zuko knows exactly what to say.

...

heyyyyy

so this is nice, an update, that's cool

uh if you couldn't tell already this is definitely zutara as the endgame

zuko has some super suppressed emotions that he'll be bringing to light in the next few chapters as he gets used to his new life

also when azula was freaking out in the beginning it was because she saw older zuko's scarred face and not babyface zuko

she saw it because im gong off the whole kids are more open spiritually and adults tend to be more closed off to that stuff

anyways please leave a review on what you thought, what you liked here or what you'd like to see more of, or just some constructive criticism


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